it wasn't lemon gatorade
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
