you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
