Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
