I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
