Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
