eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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