Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
last night I used snow as a chaser
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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