I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
