bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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