gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
