ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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