New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize