And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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