I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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