So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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