yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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