from now on my penis is your penis
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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