I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
