Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
