i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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