The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
