In the future we'll all be gay
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
