everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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