So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
