i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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