I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
