I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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