Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't deserve a penis
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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