I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
