I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
