Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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