I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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