I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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