He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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