Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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