Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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