it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
