I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize