last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
