that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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