...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
