I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
