There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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