My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize