Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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