shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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