I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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