elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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