You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
