I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
