come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize