This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
