my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
