no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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