Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am puke
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
