My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
