my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
