with your own penis?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
