The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
