i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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