Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh god it's open bar.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
