just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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