If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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