I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
