I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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